With an interest in Psychology, I found this article quite stimulating and wanted to share. If you are in a relationship and want it to be the healthiest - and wealthiest! - it can be, read on! - LJ
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201109/good-marriage-pays-great-benefits
Blogs
Resolution, Not Conflict
The guide to problem-solving.
by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. A Good Marriage Pays Great BenefitsProtect Your Investment with a Free Good Marriage Check-up
Published on September 19, 2011 by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. in Resolution, Not Conflict
This post is a response to Get Married, Get Wealthy? by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.
Save money by keeping your good marriage in great shape.
As Bella DePaulo explains in her PsychologyToday.com posting Get-Married, Get Wealthy, happily married people tend to make, and also to save, more money. On top of the financial benefit, more happiness, longevity and physical health tend to accrue to folks who live in a good marriage. Divorce, by contrast, can put you on the fast track to financial and emotional hardship. So here's a quick do-it-yourself marriage scan.
First, how much fun are you having? Couples who play together, stay together. Couples who set aside at least some chunk of time each day to be alone together, even if it's a tired twenty minutes after the kids are in bed, refresh their connection with each shared smile and pleasant verbal interchange. Add to that a date night, plus some weekend fun without the kids, and you'll up the odds that your good marriage will stay in fine shape.
Be careful though about how you spend that time. If your free time at home goes to an affair with the TV or computer, turn them off and turn to each other. To feel like partners in living you need time face to face, not just side by side or worse, back to back.
Second, how appreciative are you? If you take each other's contributions for granted, the sun will not shine in your home as often as it could. Focus for a day on checking the weather in your home. How often do each of you give forth warmth, show fondness, say yes to each other, ask questions that convey interest, express compassion, hug and smile? When positive energies radiate from spouse to spouse, the whole family benefits. And sunshine is free.
Third, there's sex. The best things in life really are free. How often to you put on music, close the door, and have a totally fun time together in your bedroom? Good sex is not enough to make a good marriage, but if sexual sharing is rare to absent, your connection may become fragile.
In the early days of the women's liberation movement, a saying grew popular. "Sex is a positive way of spending time." Catch the word "spending" there? Sex costs just time, not money.
Fourth, what's new? Both familiarity and newness strengthen partnering connections. A new game, a walk in a different place, trying out a new way to exercise together, a new shared volunteer project...anything new enhances old connections.
Fifth and last but not least, how do you heal after upsetting moments? Healthy partners talk quietly, briefly, and openly to heal the breaches in their emotional connection. As I write on my posting on Mistakes are for Learning, they both apologize for their part in the glitch, and end up with their love renewed.
To assess in more detail your routines for dealing with upsets and differences, there's a free marriage communication check-up on my Power Of Two Marriage website at http:poweroftwomarriage.com.
So what's the bottom line? Protect your investment. Treasure the pleasures in your marriage.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201109/good-marriage-pays-great-benefits
Blogs
Resolution, Not Conflict
The guide to problem-solving.
by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. A Good Marriage Pays Great BenefitsProtect Your Investment with a Free Good Marriage Check-up
Published on September 19, 2011 by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. in Resolution, Not Conflict
This post is a response to Get Married, Get Wealthy? by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.
Save money by keeping your good marriage in great shape.
As Bella DePaulo explains in her PsychologyToday.com posting Get-Married, Get Wealthy, happily married people tend to make, and also to save, more money. On top of the financial benefit, more happiness, longevity and physical health tend to accrue to folks who live in a good marriage. Divorce, by contrast, can put you on the fast track to financial and emotional hardship. So here's a quick do-it-yourself marriage scan.
First, how much fun are you having? Couples who play together, stay together. Couples who set aside at least some chunk of time each day to be alone together, even if it's a tired twenty minutes after the kids are in bed, refresh their connection with each shared smile and pleasant verbal interchange. Add to that a date night, plus some weekend fun without the kids, and you'll up the odds that your good marriage will stay in fine shape.
Be careful though about how you spend that time. If your free time at home goes to an affair with the TV or computer, turn them off and turn to each other. To feel like partners in living you need time face to face, not just side by side or worse, back to back.
Second, how appreciative are you? If you take each other's contributions for granted, the sun will not shine in your home as often as it could. Focus for a day on checking the weather in your home. How often do each of you give forth warmth, show fondness, say yes to each other, ask questions that convey interest, express compassion, hug and smile? When positive energies radiate from spouse to spouse, the whole family benefits. And sunshine is free.
Third, there's sex. The best things in life really are free. How often to you put on music, close the door, and have a totally fun time together in your bedroom? Good sex is not enough to make a good marriage, but if sexual sharing is rare to absent, your connection may become fragile.
In the early days of the women's liberation movement, a saying grew popular. "Sex is a positive way of spending time." Catch the word "spending" there? Sex costs just time, not money.
Fourth, what's new? Both familiarity and newness strengthen partnering connections. A new game, a walk in a different place, trying out a new way to exercise together, a new shared volunteer project...anything new enhances old connections.
Fifth and last but not least, how do you heal after upsetting moments? Healthy partners talk quietly, briefly, and openly to heal the breaches in their emotional connection. As I write on my posting on Mistakes are for Learning, they both apologize for their part in the glitch, and end up with their love renewed.
To assess in more detail your routines for dealing with upsets and differences, there's a free marriage communication check-up on my Power Of Two Marriage website at http:poweroftwomarriage.com.
So what's the bottom line? Protect your investment. Treasure the pleasures in your marriage.
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